


(even if i'm soft-spoken) please understand me

by memefucker69



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Amusement Park, Fluff, M/M, Social Anxiety
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-23
Updated: 2015-12-03
Packaged: 2018-02-26 16:34:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2658839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/memefucker69/pseuds/memefucker69
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kyungsoo finds that the ever silent, tattooed and pierced Jongin isn't all that he seems to be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 1/2

**Author's Note:**

> amusement park!AU  
> title is taken from love letter by vixx!!  
> this is going to be a oneshot and possibly twoshot because im uncontrollable  
> rated explicit for smut in chapter 2

“Kyungsoo! We need three double fudge sundaes!”

Wiping the sweat from his brow with the back of his hand, the raven-haired man grabbed two cups and scooted past his co-worker, Hongbin, to reach the ice cream machine, practically slamming down the vanilla lever to get the ice cream out. “I’m on it, hyung!” He called back, though there was no reason to yell, considering the three of them were crammed into the tiny ice cream stand with poor A/C. But the stand was, of course, located right by the train station, so all the park visitors were eager to get ice cream. It was summer and a blazing Saturday, so they were naturally busy.

“Kyungsoo, give them to me, I’ll put the toppings on,” Hongbin spoke and the shorter man was hurried as the slid the cups down the counter and to him.

Kyungsoo glanced at the clock as he began to work on the milkshake that Hakyeon announced promptly. In just ten minutes, they were allowed to go on lunch break and—most importantly—cool off. The ding of the register brought him back to his job as he grabbed the whipped cream, relieved at the cold feeling of the can on his sweaty hands. Popping the lid onto the already melting treat and shoving a red and white straw into it, Kyungsoo didn’t even turn around as he handed it to Hakyeon. He managed to catch the glimpse of the little kid’s smile as the milkshake was handed to him, and it brightened up his mood a bit. It wasn’t so bad working there.

Grabbing his warm lemonade from where it sat in the corner of the counter, he took a large gulp to fuel him as a group of seven or six kids led by a chaperone stepped up to the stand. He resisted the urge to groan as they ordered something for each of the children. Luckily most of them were just simple vanilla ice cream cones, but that meant dealing with that stupid, slow as molasses ice cream machine and whiny kids.

“Oooh, oh, oooh, oh, kiss kiss~” Hongbin hummed along to the music that blasted from the amusement park radios, bumping his hips with Kyungsoo’s, making him groan as it jolted his hand, causing the ice cream to dump all over his hand.

Correction: It wasn’t so bad working there  _sometimes_.

 

Kyungsoo sighed as he slumped against the countertop, slurping at his milkshake and watching the people walk by. Every so often someone would walk up, and he would smile but point at the sign that said “ _We’ll be back at 2:00!_ ” He was bored, but at least glad that Hakyeon and Hongbin both took their lunch breaks elsewhere, leaving him alone in the stand. Kyungsoo liked the quiet and restful time, enjoying his little sandwich he packed every morning and complimentary chocolate milkshake.

Getting a summer job at  _EXOland_  was the last thing he wanted to do, but student funds were overwhelming and his parents were paying  _none_  of it, so working on school break was all he had; not to mention that this place paid more than his job back at the grocery store where he worked part-time during school.

The amusement park was a rather fun and interesting place. It was just like any other park around the world—famed rides, food that would fatten you up and drain your wallet, and games at every corner. Kyungsoo had been here a few times in high school with his friends, but now that he worked there, he lost all the  _amusement_ towards it.

He didn’t get assigned to work at the ice cream stand all the time, but majority of the days, it’s what he was stuck with. If it’s not the ice cream stand, he got stuck handing out tickets to the  _Beagle Line’s_  comedy act (which really isn’t that hilarious as they make it out to be) or working at the  _Black Pearl_ rollercoaster. He was just glad he never got assigned janitor duty. Cleaning puke was the last thing he ever wanted to do (poor Yixing).

The train whistle causeds him to look up, straw popping out of his mouth as he sat up to watch. There was a train with tracks that ran all throughout the park, helping tired people get to the rides faster or give little kids some fun when they were too scared to ride the actual rides.

The train is pretty slow, so he couldn’t even see it yet, but Kyungsoo watched as another worker strided quickly to the little box next to the gates, black and white pinstriped overalls sticking out from the crowd. He saw a few older people give disgusted looks as the man pushed through the crowd, but he paid them no mind as he focused on his job, lowering the crossing gates to prevent people from getting in the train’s way. It seemed like a boring job, but considering the man’s appearance, Kyungsoo wasn’t surprised the task was handed to him. He watched every day as the male did the same job all hours.

Ask any of the park’s workers and they all knew who he was, even Kyungsoo, who started only a month ago. He was Kim Jongin, and he attracted a lot of attention, but with that much metal shoved into your skin, bleached hair, and tattoos crawling up your arms and neck, it was only natural that people would stare. It didn’t help that Jongin never talked to  _anyone_.  Any time they would ask him for help, he would just do it quietly and then leave without speaking a word. People began to wonder if he was mute or messed up in the head.

Kyungsoo found himself mildly fascinated. Jongin wasn’t bad to look at honestly. He usually wasn’t ones for guys with the whole punk get up, but it fit the silent worker somehow. Plus, those overalls were really cute, especially when Jongin wore a black beanie, his silver sweaty bangs flopping in his face.

Once the train had passed and the crowd that had gathered soon dissipated, Kyungsoo watched as Jongin plopped down in his little control box, pulling out a paper bag. Ah, that’s right. Their lunch breaks were nearly in sync. Kyungsoo knew it was a little creepy to watch a guy he hardly knew eat a sandwich, but there wasn’t much else to look at.

He snorted as Jongin managed to get what looked like mayonnaise smeared on the corner of his lips, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and looking around for something to clean it off with. With an awkward and shy movement, like he thought others were watching him, Jongin wiped the dressing on his pants before opening a bottle of water and gulping it down.  _It must be hell_ , Kyungsoo thought,  _to sit and stand in the sun all day in that black half-sleeve shirt and those overalls that always seemed to slip off your shoulders._ At least he got to sit in a somewhat cool shack and give out ice cream.

“Excuse me?”

Kyungsoo jolted up from his dazed position, blinking his eyes and looking down to see a woman and her son staring up at him. With a sigh, he pointed to the break sign, only for the customer to raise her brow. “It’s 2:15,” she stated, crossing her arms.

He resisted the urge to groan as he sat up fully, yanking the sign down and putting on his pink apron and an overly forced smile. “What would you like, ma’am?” he said in a bittersweet tone.

 

“Okay, now you just press this here when I give the signal…”

“I know, Tao, I’ve worked at another ride. I’m not a newbie.”

“Listen to me!” The taller male whined, jabbing a finger at the bright green button. Kyungsoo almost expected him to start stomping his feet like a child.

“I am listening. You just press the button to start it…and then press it again after four rotations. It’s not that hard,” he said plainly, earning a sharp glare from Tao.

“Fine! You go help Sehun load everyone in!” Tao exclaimed, shoving Kyungsoo towards the younger man who stood a few paces away, picking at his nails and smacking on his gum as he let some kids climb their way into the ferris wheel cab, slamming the door shut once they were inside without a single glance. Rolling his eyes, Kyungsoo began to actually do his job, opening the door for the customers and shooting Sehun a pointed look that said “get your ass moving, you useless noodle”.

It was a fairly nice day. The temperature was still hot as hell, but there was a breeze, and he wasn’t crammed in that tiny cart with Hongbin and Hakyeon for once. Kyungsoo was assigned to the ferris wheel for the day, something he had never worked with but didn’t have any trouble understanding. Managing the  _Black Pearl_  ride was harder than the ferris wheel, honestly. Other than having to deal with couples making out in the cabs—or worse—Kyungsoo saw no faults in working there. It was better than scared, crying kids or the occasional vomit.

Taking a quick swig of his water, Kyungsoo looked up to the clear, blue sky, sun burning his eyes, forcing him to look away from the beautiful scenery. He jolted, nearly spilling his drink, as Tao shrieked, fumbling with the control switches as Sehun pointed at different buttons with furrowed brows. With a sigh and a roll of his eyes, the older man strolled over to the arguing boys, knowing that something had gone wrong.

“What happened?” Kyungsoo questioned, shoving Sehun out of the way to face Tao, who was desperately fiddling with the controls.

“Kyungsoo! Sehun broke it!” Tao cried childishly. “Help me! Kris is gonna kill me if he finds out we broke this ride too!”

“How many have you broken?” Kyungsoo gawked for a moment before getting to the task at hand, ordering Tao to use the ride microphone to relay the message to the passengers. He eyed the controls for a moment, trying a few different options but to no avail. With a sigh, he turned to the taller man. “I’m calling Kris to send a mechanic down. Meanwhile, use the manual controls to get everyone out of the ferris wheel, alright?”

Thankful that he wasn’t the one forced to deal with Kris’s wrath, Tao did as Kyungsoo said as the latter moved over to the phone attached to the machinery, used to communicate around the park. He dialed the number of Kris’s office, twirling the red cord between his fingers as it rang five times before said man picked him with a sigh.

 _“Tao, did you break the fucking ferris wheel too?”_  His boss’s exasperated tone made Kyungsoo feel a little sorry for calling him. Kris was the manager of the most of the rides at the park. He took care of making sure every employee was in the right place and doing their job. He was also in charge of scheduling and some budgeting—so basically he had a super busy job.

“No, no, sir, this is Kyungsoo,” Kyungsoo quickly replied, making his tone as polite as possible. “Though I’m not going to lie to you, it was Tao and Sehun who did it. I tried to fix it, but we’re not sure what happened. We’re getting everyone off and closing down for now. Can you send a mechanic down?”

There was a moment of shuffling of papers and a muffled voice asking a question before Kris replied.  _“Unfortunately, Minseok is down at_ 3.6.5 _doing repairs right now and he’s our only mechanic here today. I’ll have to send Jongin over there. He’s not as efficient, but the kid’s good with machines.”_

Kyungsoo was surprised of the prospect of coming face-to-face with the tattooed man he watched from the ice cream shack. “O-Okay, sir, thank you. I’ll call you back once it’s fixed.”

 _“Please do,”_  Kris said before pausing and continuing.  _“Actually, just send Tao down. I need to talk to him anyways.”_ He didn’t even wait for Kyungsoo’s reply before hanging up, the line going dead. The younger male simply shrugged and hung up as well. Looking up to see Sehun changing the ride sign to say “CLOSED” and shooing all of the people in line away, making a kid cry in the process. Ah, the talent of Oh Sehun.

“What did Kris say?” Tao asked, obviously nervous.

“He’s sending Jongin to help because Minseok’s busy,” Kyungsoo replied.

Sehun immediately perked up at the mention of Jongin’s name, throwing himself into the new conversation. “Jongin? You mean the weird guy with all the tattoos and piercings?”

“Don’t call him weird,” Kyungsoo frowned, not liking the idea of them harassing a guy who had never done anything wrong. “And yes, I’m talking about him. Don’t get in his way and let him do his job.”

“He is weird though!” Sehun continued. “I tried to talk to him one time, and he kept stuttering the whole time. I think he has some kind of mental problem or something.”

“I’ve heard that too,” Tao supplied. “Also I heard that his brother got him the job because no one else would take him and that he’s dumb so they gave him the easiest job.”

“Don’t say stuff like that!” Kyungsoo argued with a fierce expression. The things coming out of the other boys’ mouths were completely rude and disgusting. Not that he knew anything about Jongin, but they couldn’t belittle him because of some rumors. “Those are all rumors. You can’t judge someone just because of a single experience either.”

Sehun and Tao exchanged guilty looks and went silent after Kyungsoo’s scolding. Not a second later did the oldest look up to see Jongin approaching, hands shoved in the large pockets of his usual overalls and the sleeves of his black shirt rolled up to his elbows, revealing the black and white tattoos that swirled in different designs over his arms.

The three ride workers were quiet as Jongin stepped inside the gates, walking up to the control board without a word. Sehun and Tao kept their distance like they were cautious around some wild animal. Kyungsoo rolled his eyes and moved to stand next to Jongin. “Um, did Kris tell you what happened?” he asked quietly as Jongin bent down to unlock the door to the inside of the controls.

Jongin moved his head up like he was going to look at Kyungsoo, but avoided eye contact, looking elsewhere than Kyungsoo’s face.  He gave a small nod of his head and turned back to what he was doing.

Kyungsoo wasn’t offended in any way, like other employees had been when Jongin focused on his work alone. He just didn’t get the vibe that Jongin hated him or anyone. It wasn’t like avoidance or ignorance, it felt more like the other man was shy or soft-spoken.

“Okay,” Kyungsoo gave a smile, “I’ll leave you to it then.”

Plopping down onto a bench along the fence, Kyungsoo drank his water and tried to not stare at Jongin openly. He was curious really. Seeing him at that close of a distance was different than before.  Also, he’d never thought that Jongin did that sort of work as well, working on fixing the rides on the side.

He watched as Jongin mumbled to himself, fiddling with this and that inside of the control box to find the problem. His overall straps had slipped down to his elbows and his usual black beanie removed, allowing his platinum blond bangs to fall in his face. With that gone, Kyungsoo could see the extent of Jongin’s piercings. The numerous amounts of metal decorating the shell of his ears had Kyungsoo wondering how high the man’s pain tolerance was. There was one on his lip, a pair of snake bites, a bar shoved through the bridge of his nose, and two on his left eyebrow and one on his right. And that was just all he could see.

It was only a moment or two later that Jongin stood to his full height, shutting the door to the control box, looking over to Kyungsoo and nodding. The three workers got up as well to inspect.

“It’s fixed?” Sehun questioned, earning another silent nod from Jongin.

“Okay, now we need to test it! I volunteer Kyungsoo and Jongin to go,” Tao exclaimed, not waiting a minute before he shoved the two towards the opened and ready cab.

“No way! That’s dangerous!” Kyungsoo spoke up, digging his heels into the grass to stop Tao’s movements.

“You don’t trust Jongin’s work?” Sehun replied from the control booth, a certain mischievous smile toying on his lips—one that Kyungsoo wanted to slap off.

Not wanting Jongin to think that he really felt that way, Kyungsoo faltered on a reply. “I’m—that’s not—!”

Tao took that as his cue and permission, fully pushing the two men into the red cab, sending them stumbling to the floor of the small space. He slammed the door shut with a cat-like smirk, giving Sehun a thumbs-up.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Kyungsoo grumbled, pushing himself up onto the opposite side of the cab. He dusted off his shirt as the ride began to move before looking up to see Jongin sitting across from him, eyes wide as he stared at their feet. “Sorry, I wasn’t referring to being stuck with you in here or anything.”

When the blond didn’t reply, Kyungsoo moved his gaze out the window of the cab as it smoothly moved up, the park shrinking below him. He could see everything, considering the ferris wheel was probably the biggest structure in  _EXOland_. The people below seemed like ants as they reached the top of the ride, and Kyungsoo let out a sound of awe. He could only imagine how beautiful everything looked in the evening, with all the glowing lights and stars sprinkled across the sky.

Shifting his eyes to Jongin, he noticed the way he was still staring at his feet, his face a sickly pale and his fingers digging into the fabric of his jeans, knuckles turning white. “Hey, are you alright?” Kyungsoo questioned, though there was no way that Jongin was fine.

At his words, Jongin’s head lifted to give Kyungsoo a pleading, almost fearful look. And immediately, Kyungsoo caught on to what was wrong. “Oh, are you—!”

He was cut off as the wheel stopped moving, an ear-piercing screech to go along with its pause, startling the both of them, especially Jongin. Kyungsoo clung to the window, trying to look down and see what the problem was. Upon looking, he wasn’t surprised to find Tao and Sehun panicking around the control box. “Shit, I think it broke again. I guess we’re stuck up here until they call someone to fix it.”

“H-H-Hyung…” Jongin spoke softly, a hand reaching out to clutch Kyungsoo’s wrist. It dawned on Kyungsoo that it was the first time he’d ever heard the other man’s voice, albeit stuttered and quiet. A certain warm feeling built in his chest at the sound of Jongin referring to him as “hyung”, and he turned to face him.

“I-I-I,” the tattooed male struggled to form the words, his frame shaking and his dark eyes filled with fright. “I-I-I-I’m…”

“Are you scared of heights, Jongin?” Kyungsoo asked with no sort of teasing in his tone.

Jongin closed his eyes and nodded quickly; seeming thankful that Kyungsoo finished his statement for him. Again the straps of his overalls had slipped down his arms as he gripped Kyungsoo’s wrist like a lifeline. At that point, Jongin began to let out gasping breaths, nearly hyperventilating as he clenched his eyes shut.

“Do you want to sit with me?” the brunet inquired kindly.

Jongin wasted no time in moving across the small space, letting out a scared cry as the cab rocked from his movement, and sitting next to Kyungsoo. The smaller man grabbed his hands gently, rubbing his thumbs over the backs comfortingly. “Shh, it’s gonna be okay, alright?” Kyungsoo murmured. “They’re going to call Minseok to come get us down soon.”

“I-I-I’m…I-I-I-I’m…” Jongin shook his head as if to clear his thoughts. “I’m s-s-so…rry-y.” Tears gathered in his eyes and his lips quivered, and he quickly moved one of his hands to rub at his eyes. Kyungsoo’s heart panged at the sight, and he resisted the thought that Jongin was  _really adorable_.

“What’re you apologizing for?” Crossing many boundaries, Kyungsoo reached to wipe a stray tear from Jongin’s eye, noticing how his touch relaxed the younger man. His voice had unknowingly shifted to a tone he used when lost and scared kids were looking for their parents, but the gentle voice calmed Jongin down.

“I-I m-mess…m-m-messed up-p,” he stuttered, sniffling a bit and clenching his eyes shut like he was trying not to cry. “Y-Y-You p-p-probably think…think,” Jongin hiccupped, “I-I-I-I-I’m an-an-annoying.”

“Why, because you’re scared of heights?” Kyungsoo questioned, receiving a nod as a reply.

Smiling softly, Kyungsoo swiped his thumbs over Jongin’s knuckles. “I don’t think you’re annoying at all,” he murmured.

It was strange, to say the least. Kyungsoo hardly knew Jongin and couldn’t have ever guessed that he was so sensitive and shy. But he couldn’t help but want to comfort the younger man, though he would never do the same for anyone else. A warm feeling sparked within him as Jongin’s lips twitched into a small smile, one that crinkled his watery brown eyes and straight nose cutely.

“O-Okay,” Jongin replied quietly, barely audible over the sound of the belt of the ride moving again. Kyungsoo looked down to see Minseok looking up with a smile on his face, giving a thumbs-up to the two of them.

He guessed that Jongin sneaked a peek, judging by the way he suddenly gripped Kyungsoo’s hands tightly. Kyungsoo flashed him another reassuring smile as the cab slowly reached the ground, Tao waiting and opening the door as the ferris wheel came to a stop.

“I’m so sorry, Kyungsoo, I’m…” Tao became silent as he eyed Jongin and Kyungsoo’s hand-holding and the younger’s puffy eyes. “…What did I miss?”

Kyungsoo didn’t even bother to reply, keeping one pale hand intertwined with Jongin’s tanned one and shoving the Chinese male out of the way, making his way out of the cab, feeling Jongin stumble behind him. Thinking that now was a good time for a break more than ever, he left the ferris wheel, slowing down his pace to walk next to Jongin, hand-in-hand.

“Are you embarrassed?” Kyungsoo asked, looking up to Jongin, who was still wiping at his eyes with a fist, like a child.

“Y-Yeah,” Jongin said with a bowed head, probably to avoid the sight of onlookers. His cheeks were pink and his hand sweaty as it wrapped around Kyungsoo’s, showcasing exactly what his thoughts were. Kyungsoo wasn’t too sure if his anxiousness was caused by their hands or Jongin’s tear-stained cheeks.

 

“I got you vanilla. I hope that’s okay,” the brunet said as he took a seat on the sky blue bench that was shaded by a rainbow umbrella. It was a spot that sat just a few paces from the train tracks, and of course, near the ice cream shack. Evening had just arrived, the sun slowly setting and dyeing the sky different hues of pink and orange, so many people were gathered at the park square. The parade started in about twenty minutes, but Kyungsoo could care less. He’d seen the performance more than he could count on both hands and feet.

Jongin barely lifted his gaze shyly, taking the ice cream cone from Kyungsoo’s outstretched hand. The latter licked the dripping ice cream from his thumb before indulging in his own chocolate frozen treat. It was silent between the two, besides the sounds of screams and chatter from the park and its attendees. Kyungsoo hardly noticed the sounds anymore, growing accustomed to them.

When he reached the cone, beginning to munch on it, the older male spared a glance at Jongin, nearly choking on the sweet in his mouth at the sight of Jongin’s tongue swiping over the smooth and melting cream. It wasn’t the action that appalled him, but the view of the silver ball in the middle of his tongue.

Kyungsoo gulped. “You have a tongue piercing too?”

Jongin licked his lips, an innocent action, “Y-Yeah.”

“Wow,” he admired, beginning to wonder if he had any  _another_ piercings  _elsewhere_ , “did you get them over a long span of time, the tattoos too?”

Jongin swallowed the ice cream in his mouth, Kyungsoo noticing how his hand was shaking and how he refused to actually look at him as he spoke. “I-I got, um, m-my lips and-and tongue when I was eighteen. And…And then my eyebrows s-six months later…? I got my-my ears at nineteen and some-some more at twenty. I-I got this sleeve around that t-time too.” In a single, awkward movement, Jongin tugged back his shirt to show the large, expansive tattoo on his left arm. Looking at it so closely, Kyungsoo could see the intricate, black and white design of a wolf inked into his skin. “M-My oth-other arm was in J-January for my birthday and my-my snakebites and this too,” he pointed to the piercing in the bridge of his nose. “I g-got this one and the one on my neck a month ago, I think. They hurt a lot.” Jongin tugged down the collar of his black shirt to reveal something written in what looked like Latin that flowed with the tattoo that climbed up his neck. “I have m-more too but…”

Kyungsoo blinked. “But?”

Jongin looked around like he was about to show Kyungsoo something secretive as he quickly slipped off the straps of his overalls, being careful with his ice cream. His other hand tugged up the hem of his shirt, cheeks as red as a tomato, as he revealed his chest—oh god,  _he had abs_ —a bellybutton piercing and fucking  _nipple_ piercings. With a squeak, Kyungsoo yanked Jongin’s shirt back down. “O-Oh.”

“Hyung,” Jongin said, and Kyungsoo looked up. “C-Can I ask…Why are you being so nice?”

“What do you mean?” Kyungsoo questioned, finishing his ice cream cone and tossing the paper wrapper in the trash can that was conveniently placed right next to the bench. “I like you, Jongin, so I’m being nice to you.”

“E-Everyone…Everyone else th-thinks I’m w-w-weird,” Jongin mumbled, looking self-conscious and somehow small as he rubbed at his arms. “B-Because i-it’s h-hard for me to-to talk, I st-st-stutter a l-lot. They always think I’m d-dumb or b-belong in a mental hos-hospital.” He paused for a moment, furrowing his eyebrows like he was debating over saying something. “…I-I have so-social an-anxiety, hyung. I get nervous when I talk because I-I’m scared of saying something dumb or b-bad, so-so I avoid people too. It’s n-not as bad that I want to stay inside all day, but I feel l-like that sometimes. I-I couldn’t even g-get a job. J-Jongdae-hyung got me o-one here.”

“Kim Jongdae is your brother?” Kyungsoo’s eyes went wide in complete and utter surprise. There was no way in hell Jongin was related to that monkey. “I-I mean, I didn’t know that. And your stuttering doesn’t bother me, Jongin. And I’m pretty shy too—which I’m sure is  _nothing_  compared to your anxiety—but I can understand how socializing can be scary.”

Jongin gave a fraction of a smile in appreciation. “Thank you, hyung.”

“Don’t you find it funny how we haven’t even introduced ourselves officially?” Kyungsoo snorted, watching as a grin formed on the other man’s lips, the first time Kyungsoo had seen him flash a toothy smile. And, fuck, was it adorable.

He scooted closer to Jongin. “It’s nice to meet you, Jongin. My name is Do Kyungsoo.”

“K-Kyungsoo-hyung,” he mumbled, trying out the name on his tongue. Clearing his throat and throwing out his unfinished ice cream cone, Jongin’s cheeks once again became the color of crimson. “Hyung, I w-wanna…I want t-to…” Getting frustrated with himself, the blonde slapped his cheeks. “I need t-to say something!”

Surprised by the sudden outburst, Kyungsoo reached out and grasped Jongin’s hands in his own, a little concerned. “What is it?”

Jongin gulped, tightening his grip on the other man’s smaller hands as he looked up and locked his eyes with Kyungsoo with a huge dose of courage. “I-I w-want to…Can we…W-Will you…I want to b-be friends!” The tattooed male stopped himself and shook his head. “N-No! I mean, g-go…out with m-me?”

“Of course,” he replied smoothly. “This can be our first date.”


	2. 2/2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> rated M for smut

_“Jongin, why didn’t you turn in your partner project, sweetie? It was due two days ago.”_

_“I-I-I’m s-sorry, teacher. I-I d-didn’t have a p-partner.”_

 

_“I don’t wanna be your friend. I can’t even understand what you’re saying half the time. Are you retarded or something?”_

_“I’m n-not ret-t-tarded. I h-have an-anxiety.”_

_“Yeah, sure you do.”_

 

_“You received a C on your presentation, Mr. Kim. I’m afraid it was hard to hear you, your eye contact was terrible, and your stuttering made it hard to understand. You did the project right, but this is a public speaking class, son.”_

_“I-I’m s-sorry. I-I just h-have an-anxiety, sir.”_

_“Oh, please, you’re just making that up. Speaking in front of a class of ten students isn’t that bad.”_

 

_“M-Mom, c-c-can you t-take me to the doctor?”_

_“Why, honey? Are you sick?”_

_“I-I think I h-have r-really bad a-anxiety, b-but the school won’t b-believe me.”_

_“There’s no way you have anxiety. You’re just shy is all. You’ll get out of your shell someday.”_

 

_“Why aren’t you going to that dance audition? You’d blow them away!”_

_“N-No, I-I’d be terrible. Besides, I-I don’t wanna ask Mom for a ride, hyung.”_

_“C’mon, Jongin, you have to do something with your life.”_

 

_“It’s been three years, Jongin! You graduated high school three years ago. Get a job or we’re kicking you out of the house!”_

_“B-But, Dad, n-no one will hire me. I-I can’t talk well.”_

_“You heard me, Jongin.  And stop stuttering for god’s sake. You’re twenty-one, act like it.”_

 

Jongin watched as the trees all melted together outside the window, the gentle hum of the car’s engine making him sleepy. He picked at his lip nonchalantly; the silence in the cab of the car soothing and his brother’s humming making him feel calm. It smelled like the vanilla air freshener Jongdae had stuck on the rear-view mirror the day before, getting rid of the new car smell. It made Jongin think of Kyungsoo; he always smelled like warm vanilla.

“What are you smiling about?” Jongdae said, catching his younger brother off guard.

Jongin hadn’t even noticed the small smile that tugged at his lips, “n-no one.”

“I said ‘what’, not ‘who’. Thanks for giving it away though. You’re thinking about Kyungsoo again, aren’t you?” Jongdae grinned, looking briefly over at Jongin before keeping his eyes back on the road. “I’m glad you’re dating him. You look a lot happier.”

“Really?” Jongin couldn’t help but grin as well. It wasn’t like Jongdae was a horrible brother, but it was rare that he spoke so nicely about Jongin or even cared about his life. “I-I r-really like him, hyung.”

“Yeah? Kyungsoo’s a nice guy. He’s good for you. There aren’t many people out there who will, you know, understand your anxiety,” Jongdae turned into the park entrance, maneuvering the car towards the staff parking lot. “Not that it’s a bad thing, of course. Some people are just ignorant to other people’s feelings.”

“I know,” Jongin mumbled, toying with the strap of his bag that contained his uniform.

As Jongdae parked the car in their parking space, hanging the staff card on the mirror and moving to open his door, Jongin stopped him, grabbing onto his shirt with red cheeks and an embarrassed visage. “What is it?” He asked, genuinely curious.

“H-H-Hyung, h-have you e-ever…” Jongin faltered in his words, gulping and trying to pluck up the courage to ask such an awkward question. “Y-You know…d-done  _it_?”

“…You’re not seriously coming to me for advice about this.”

“I-I j-just…” Jongin’s whole face was the color of a ripe tomato at that point. “K-K-Kyungsoo-hyung and I h-have k-kissed and-and stuff, an-and it’s b-been three months, so-so I think that s-soon we’ll…”

“He’s not going to force you to do anything you don’t want to do, you know.”

“I-I want to though…”

“Jongin, I love you, I really do. But I am not about to have this conversation with you,” Jongdae snorted, moving to open the car door. “I’ve never touched another guy’s dick before either.”

“But that one time, at that party—“

“That was the only time, and I was drunk!” he nearly screeched in the middle of the parking lot, making a few heads turn in their direction. Jongdae’s cheeks puffed out in chagrin, practically stomping his way to the employee locker rooms, Jongin following after his brother with a cheeky grin on his face.

 

“Jongin,”

Swallowing the bite he’d just taken out of his sandwich, the blond looked up, cupping a hand over his eyes to block out the sun as he viewed his boyfriend smiling at him adorably, sucking on a milkshake as he always did on break. Grinning up at him, Jongin scooted over and made room for Kyungsoo to sit down next to him.

He was unprepared for the kiss pressed against his cheek as the smaller man sat down, and Jongin’s cheeks flamed crimson like a schoolgirl around her crush. Shyly, he moved to peck Kyungsoo’s lips, remembering their first kiss and thanking whoever was up there that he would never have to deal with that embarrassing thing again. Kyungsoo, thankfully, hadn’t got angry when Jongin had practically dumped his drink all over him. But, honestly, it was his fault for taking Jongin by surprise. It was his first kiss ever!

“Your lips taste like mayonnaise,” Kyungsoo grimaced, rubbing at his own lips.

“S-Sorry,” Jongin frowned, but continued to eat his sandwich, hungry from running back and forth across the park. One of the other workers that operated the crossing gates was new and had called Jongin down multiple times to help him. He reached to grab his water, only for Kyungsoo to shove the straw of his milkshake between his lips. For once it wasn’t melted and warm, refreshing Jongin’s overheated body.

“I want to ask you something,” Kyungsoo said after a while of the two just sitting in silence. “But I’m not sure if you’ll like it.”

“D-Depends,” the younger man replied, balling up his paper bag, nervous as to what Kyungsoo wanted to ask him. His mind thought back to his conversation with Jongdae earlier, and he quickly pushed those thoughts aside. Kyungsoo wouldn’t ask him something like that in public.

Kyungsoo reached out to grasp Jongin’s hand, something they’d both been grown to doing since they’d first met. “Jongin, I want you to meet my parents.”

“Wh-What?” Jongin’s eyes went incredibly wide in shock. “Y-Your parents?” he repeated.

“Yes,” Kyungsoo nodded with a soft smile. “This weekend I’m staying a night at my parents’ house in Goyang, and I want you to come with me. You don’t have to if you’re uncomfortable with it, but I’ve told them about you, and I’d really like it if you’d come.”

“H-H-Hyung, w-won’t they hate how I look? H-H-How I speak?” Honestly, he was more afraid about the latter part. Jongin never really gave two shits about his appearance, but he’d always been sensitive about his anxiety. Growing up, he never had many friends and so many found his stuttering and quiet nature to be annoying. “I-I don’t…don’t wanna embarrass you. I-I’ve gotten better at speaking around y-you, but I’m still terrible at talking to st-strangers.” He panicked, heart beating at a quick pace in his chest at the thought of having to meet the brunet’s parents. He’d say something stupid for sure, and they’d laugh at him, like his own family always did. Kyungsoo wouldn’t want to be with him after he made such an awful impression of himself.

“Jongin, my parents would never tease you about that. Yes, they’ll get a shock at your appearance, but once they see how kind you are, they’ll love you,” Kyungsoo reassured, seeing the anxiety that set in Jongin’s brown eyes. He knew it was a big leap, but Kyungsoo believed that it was possible. “I’ll be right there with you, mentally and physically. They’re my family, yes, but I would never let them bully you.”

“…It’s just a n-night, right?” Jongin offered a small, hesitant smile, calming down a bit from Kyungsoo’s words. He adored the heart-shaped smile that bloomed on his boyfriend’s lips as he gave in to his request. “I-I-I’ll go with you, hyung.”

“Like I said, Jongin, you don’t have to go if you aren’t comfortable—“

“I’m comfortable,” he swiftly replied, not wanting to seem like an uncaring boyfriend. It was Kyungsoo’s parents. He’d have to meet them sometime, now was a good time as ever. Jongin was sort of curious as to who had come to raise such a wonderful man, and he knew Kyungsoo wouldn’t lie to him about his parents’ nature. “Wh-What time?”

“I’ll pick you up at five on Saturday. Remember, we’re gonna stay overnight, so be sure to bring some clothes and a toothbrush or whatever you need, okay?” Kyungsoo reminded before leaning up and pressing his lips against Jongin’s as a silent “thank you”. Jongin immediately fell under the calming spell of Kyungsoo’s soft lips against his own. Grabbing a pad of paper from where it was stuffed haphazardly into the corner of the gate control box, Jongin held it up to cover their faces from possible onlookers as the kiss deepened. He always liked kissing Kyungsoo. It was the one time he was able to pour out his feelings in a way without stuttered words.

Regardless, he still hadn’t told Kyungsoo about his little crush on him from before they’d met officially. Jongin had continually watched the man from his position by the train tracks. He’d spied on the way Kyungsoo handed out ice cream to little kids with an adoring smile on his face, something he wished to be blessed upon himself. And when he ate his lunch, Jongin felt the older man’s eyes on him, and he became extremely bashful, thinking that it was possible the same connection was attached to Kyungsoo’s heart. He never had thought he’d be so lucky as to  _talk_  to Kyungsoo however. That was a miracle on its own. He called it fate.

When they parted from the kiss, Jongin lowered the notebook shield, only to gawk as Kyungsoo grabbed ahold of the straps of his overalls, pulling him closer with a devilish smirk on his features. “H-Hyung, what are you…” He blushed down to his toes.

Kyungsoo leaned in closer before a voice called out his name.

“Kyungsoo, it’s two o’clock, time to get back to work!” Hakyeon shrilled and the doe-eyed male was quick to get to his feet and wave his arm in acceptance.

“Saturday?” Kyungsoo asked for the final time.

Jongin nodded and smiled, squinting his eyes to avoid the sunlight. “Saturday,” he confirmed.

 

Jongin tried to ignore the churning of his stomach as he listened to Kyungsoo sing along to the radio of the car. It wasn’t his singing that was making him nauseous—his voice was gorgeous—but rather their destination. Yes, he had agreed to visit Kyungsoo’s parents, but now the nerves were catching up to him and he couldn’t help but have a mini panic attack. He was going to meet Kyungsoo’s parents. He was going to have to socialize with strangers, whom he had to make a good impression on. As long as they weren’t like his parents and actually  _understanding_ , Jongin reassured himself that he would be completely, utterly, and perfectly fine.

“Jongin, why did you wear a long-sleeved shirt? It’s gonna be pretty warm today,” Kyungsoo glanced over to his fidgeting and nerve-wracked boyfriend.

“I-I thought it w-w-would be b-better this w-way,” he avoided eye contact, feeling ashamed somehow. “Th-That they won’t…won’t be able to s-see my t-tattoos.” Jongin fidgeted, gripping the sleeves of his plaid flannel shirt.

“You can still see the one on your neck and your hands, dummy,” Kyungsoo grinned, reaching over to tug on his boyfriend’s cheek to make him smile. “I already told them you’ve never been charged with a felony and had a good school record. I asked them to have an open mind.” He moved to hold the other man’s sweaty hand. “It’s okay to be nervous, Jongin.”

“I-I just feel like I-I’m b-burdening you, h-hyung,” he mumbled.

“Jongin, I’ve never ever ever ever  _ever_ found you burdening. I’d be nervous meeting your parents too. It’s new people that you want to impress; of course you would be anxious,” Kyungsoo stroked his thumb along the bumps of Jongin’s tattooed knuckles. “It’s gonna be okay, I promise. You wanna talk about something else, to help you calm down a little?”

Jongin nodded and racked his brain for something else to talk about, something new that didn’t deal with talking to other people. “I’ve…I’ve always wanted to dance, hyung. I liked ballet at first, and then I saw idols on T.V. and I wanted to be like them, to do the dances they did. I tried to study every dance I could. After high school, I wanted to go to school and major in dance and become a teacher somewhere. But I didn’t. I was too scared to.”

“Really?” Kyungsoo’s expression brightened at the new information. He was completely surprised that Jongin had never told him such a thing before. “That’s so amazing. Can I see you dance sometime?”

“I-I haven’t done it in a while, so it’s probably not that great,” Jongin’s cheeks flushed red and he smiled, “but I’ll d-dance for you.”

“Well, if we’re confessing dreams, I wanted to be a singer,” Kyungsoo snorted as he turned onto another street. “Instead, I am majoring in music production and composition, so it’s close enough I suppose.”

“You’re a really good singer, hyung,” Jongin complimented, thinking back to the numerous times he’d heard Kyungsoo hum randomly or sing along to the radio in the car. Sometimes he would watch as Hakyeon, Hongbin, and Kyungsoo broke out into song to the music blasting through the park speakers as they served ice cream. It was amusing, but most of all  _amazing_. Kyungsoo’s voice was smooth and soft, somehow reminding him of melting chocolate.

“Thank you,” the older man accepted gratefully and humbly, but Jongin could see the smile on his lips. Just the thought that he had made Kyungsoo happy made him feel more pleased than anything in the world.

“Ah! Here we are,” Kyungsoo exclaimed, joyful at the opportunity to spend time with his family that he hadn’t visited in a while. As he parked into the driveway before the small, two-story brick home, Kyungsoo felt Jongin’s hand clench around his own fearfully. Yanking the key from the ignition, he turned to face the younger man with sympathetic eyes. “You feel okay, Jongin?”

The other male gave a small, shy nod of his head, trusting that Kyungsoo was right and everything would be fine. They gathered their two bags from the backseat, Jongin on jelly-like legs and Kyungsoo with pep in his step. Immediately, though they were separated for a mere five seconds at the most, Jongin reconnected their hands, his grip tight and warm. They climbed up the stairs of the porch with much difficulty (Jongin’s legs being shaky), and Kyungsoo rang the doorbell.

Jongin felt the strong urge to hide himself behind the smaller man, like he used to do with his mother when he was a child, but forced himself to keep his eye level with the door. He gulped as footsteps approached the door and the doorknob clicked open, revealing a very petite woman with grey hair and obvious crow’s-feet and wrinkles that deepened as her heart-shaped lips peeled into an ecstatic smile, diving forward to embrace her son eagerly.

“Kyungsoo!” she cried, hugging him tightly as Jongin let go of his hand out of courtesy. As the two exchanged greetings and small talk in the threshold, he offered a tiny smile, watching fondly and counting the amount of similarities between Kyungsoo and his mother.

“Oh my,” she spoke up once more, and it took Jongin a moment to process she was referring to him. “You must be Jongin.” Mrs. Do offered him the kindest of smiles and bowed to the young man. “It’s nice to meet you. Kyungsoo’s told me nothing but wonderful things about you.”

“N-Nice to m-meet you too,” Jongin gave an awkward bow of his own, face reddened as attention was shifted to himself.

Kyungsoo’s mother smiled at him fondly before stepping back. “Well, I’m sure you boys would actually like to come in,” she laughed, Kyungsoo joining in and clutching Jongin’s hand as he stepped inside his old home.

It was a nice home in Jongin’s eyes, very spacious and obviously redone considering its modern furnishings. As he shucked off his converses, Jongin regarded the various pictures of Kyungsoo and his family hung on the walls with a grin, amused at a photo of Kyungsoo and his older brother playing out in the snow.

“Seungsoo will be over in an hour or so. He got caught up in traffic,” Mrs. Do informed. “And your father ran out to help the neighbors fix their car. He’ll be over soon too.”

“Seungsoo is coming?” Kyungsoo blinked, Jongin surprised as well. He’d never said anything about meeting his brother.

His mother nodded, taking a seat on the cream-colored sofa. “He’s bringing his fiancée, Hyoyeon. They’re just coming for dinner. I thought I told you?”

“You didn’t, but that’s okay.”

“My bad,” she waved a hand in dismissal before looking to Jongin. “Kyungsoo, why don’t you take your bags to the guest room while Jongin and I stay here and relax?”

The blonde’s heartbeat sped up drastically in his chest, thumping to a quick tempo at the prospect of being alone with  _Kyungsoo’s_  mother without _Kyungsoo_. He looked to the older man with hope that they could twist their way out of the situation. “Um, Mom, I…”

“ _Kyungsoo_ ,” she suddenly spoke in a warning tone, smiling thinly. “You heard me.”

With a sigh, Kyungsoo gathered their two lightly-packed bags in his hand and looked up to Jongin with believing eyes, squeezing his hand once for comfort before parting and making his way up the stairs that were just to the left of the living room. And in a quiet movement, Jongin moved to sit beside the small woman as she offered him a seat. He was startled as she laid a comforting hand on his knee.

“You really are adorable!” Mrs. Do suddenly remarked with a bell-like laugh. “Kyungsoo was right when he told me.”

Jongin’s face flamed cherry red and he wished he had his beanie on like always so that he could tug it over his ears timidly. Not only did she find him cute, but Kyungsoo had said he was cute. He couldn’t even see how that was a proper adjective to use on himself, considering his appearance, but he was thankful all the same. “Th-Thank you,” he stuttered out.

“So where are you from, Jongin?” she inquired.

“I-I live r-r-right near the p-park,” Jongin answered, trying his best to look her in the eyes politely. “I-I live with m-my pa-parents.” He felt terrible for stuttering and wrung his hands in his lap anxiously.

“Oh, that’s right, you work with Kyungsoo,” Mrs. Do grinned at her own faulty memory. “Do you like it there?”

Jongin shook his head. “I-I don’t like living w-with my parents. Th-They think I-I’m an-annoying. I-I’m s-saving up s-so I can m-move out. I-I want to g-go to school t-too.”

“Really, that’s amazing, Jongin. What do you want to do?”

“D-Dance, I want to b-be a dance t-teacher.” Jongin felt himself slowly relaxing around the older woman as she talked to him like he was a normal person and was actively interested in what he had to say.

Mrs. Do let out a gasp as if she had had an exciting epiphany. “You know what, Hyoyeon, Seungsoo’s fiancée, actually owns a dance studio! I believe she’s looking for some teachers, actually. You might be able to work there once  _EXOland_ closes for the winter to earn some extra money. It’ll help you prepare for your career too. I’ll ask her about it after dinner.”

Jongin’s eyes widened in shock, “I-I don’t know, b-but thank you. Th-That sounds am-amazing.” He was completely taken aback by her sudden suggestion. Just the fact that she would go so far as to do that for him was surprising in the least. It sure beat working at the amusement park as well. And to be able to do what he wanted had him smiling.

Kyungsoo leaned against the railing of the staircase, watching as his mother slowly warmed up Jongin to conversation. Seeing that joyful raise of Jongin’s lips had him looking onto the scene fondly. It was nice to see his boyfriend open up so quickly, with how long it took for Jongin to get comfortable around him. There was no doubt in his mind that dinner would go well.

 

“Wow, so how many do you have?”

“S-Seventeen, i-in total,”

“Seventeen! He has seventeen piercings!” Seungsoo exclaimed with a grin and a laugh. “I didn’t think you were into that, Kyungsoo.”

“I’m not  _into_  that,” Kyungsoo rolled his eyes, taking a sip of his water. “Jongin just happens to have them.”

“He’s just into bad boys,” Hyoyeon snickered, earning a grin from Jongin, who was pleased in watching Kyungsoo get teased by his family. He could tell Kyungsoo felt at home, judging by the light in his eyes and the smile that would appear every now and then.

“He’s not even a bad boy! He just has…why did you get those again?” Kyungsoo suddenly asked as the rest of his family erupted into laughter at his misplaced memory.

Jongin bit back a grin, adjusting his grip on his chopsticks nervously. “I th-thought they were cool.”

“ _Definitely_ a bad boy,” Seungsoo chuckled.

The rest of the dinner went on joyfully, and Jongin could feel himself quickly familiarizing and getting comfortable with Kyungsoo’s family. They were a lot nicer and accepting than he originally thought or, rather, imagined.

After dinner, they all sat in the living room, just talking and sharing stories. Jongin learned more about Kyungsoo, like how he was teased for being small all of his childhood or how he once pissed his pants in elementary school and stayed in the bathroom until the teacher came looking for him. In turn, Kyungsoo’s family discovered that there really was more to Jongin than what meets the eye, how soft-spoken and reserved he was and how passionate he was about dancing and the occasional puppy.

Once dancing was brought up, Mrs. Do took it upon herself to mention to Hyoyeon Jongin’s interest in becoming a dance teacher and asking if the position was still open. Jongin blushed bashfully as Hyoyeon nodded and smiled to him, saying that if he came down for an audition, she would surely consider hiring him for the position.

It was a much kinder atmosphere than being around Jongin’s family.

Seungsoo and Hyoyeon took their leave when it started getting late, and Jongin and Kyungsoo helped Mrs. Do clean up the kitchen and table. She left them to the dishes as she and Kyungsoo’s father retired to the bedroom for rest and the two were finally alone.

“It wasn’t so bad, was it?” Kyungsoo broke the silence with a smile as he handed Jongin another plate to dry off.

“I had fun, hyung,” Jongin replied earnestly and happily as he wiped the plate dry and placed it in the cabinet. “I like your family.”

“I’m glad. Tonight was really fun. I’ve actually never seen Seungsoo laugh that much,” he snorted, pulling the plug from the drain and squeezing the water from the used washcloth. Washing his hands, he searched for a towel to dry them off before Jongin suddenly enveloped his hands in a fluffy towel, gripping them in his own.

He smiled bashfully down at his boyfriend, and Kyungsoo considered if you could ever call someone’s teeth cute. It wasn’t necessarily Jongin’s smile he considered cute, but the way his lips spread to reveal those pearly whites had his heart skipping a beat. Jongin was really too adorable for his own good. Saying his thanks as he took the hand towel from Jongin and draped it over the handle of the oven, Kyungsoo moved to loop his arms around the taller man’s neck, hugging him close. Jongin paused for a moment, dumbfounded at the sudden embrace, before hugging Kyungsoo with equal warmth.

Kyungsoo sighed with a soft smile, closing his eyes blissfully. “I really like you a lot, Jongin,” he murmured.

Jongin buried his face in the crook of the older male’s neck, his heart thudding steadily in his chest at Kyungsoo’s confession. His arms tightened around Kyungsoo’s torso, feeling like his heart was seconds from exploding, “I-I l-like you a lot t-too.”

“Mmm,” Kyungsoo hummed, pulling back slightly to look Jongin in the eye. “You wanna hear a secret?”

Jongin eyed him wearily. “…What?”

Kyungsoo’s usually wide eyes thinned as he grinned before leaning up to capture Jongin’s lips in a gentle, chaste kiss. It couldn’t have been more than a second but it left the both of them breathless. As their lips parted, and Jongin leaned in for another kiss, Kyungsoo pressed a finger to his lips, effectively stopping him before he spoke. “I think I’m in love with you.”

Jongin swore his heart completely stopped at that moment, his eyes widening. He opened and closed his mouth in a panic as to how to reply, how to say that  _he felt the same_. After stuttering and sputtering fractions of words, he decided to reciprocate his feelings in the easiest way by pressing Kyungsoo gently against the counters and placing his lips against those plush heart-shaped ones.

Kyungsoo couldn’t resist letting out a few giggles at the cheesy situation as the smack of Jongin’s cute little kisses against his nose, lips, cheek, forehead, anywhere he could reach and deem kissable, and the feeling of his lip ring pressing against his skin. They exchanged laughs and smiles between the multitude of smooches before Jongin finally stilled and murmured, “I love you too.” His boyfriend found his flushed cheeks and nervous blinking charming.

The shorter man let out a happy sigh before pulling away from Jongin.  “You ready to go to bed?” he asked, thumbing the fabric of Jongin’s flannel shirt.  He received a nod in reply, and Kyungsoo shut off all the lights in the downstairs rooms as he led Jongin up to his room by the hand.

“It’s not really that big, the room I mean, but the bed is big enough for two people, so you won’t have to sleep on the floor at least,” Kyungsoo whispered as they moved through the hallway, trying not to wake up his parents. His dad’s snoring was as loud as ever, drowning out the squeaking hinges of his bedroom door.

Jongin looked around the simple room as Kyungsoo flipped on the lamp light next to his bed. It was small, like he described, but he could spot little hints of Kyungsoo’s younger years, like the worn desk in the corner, a few posters of older boy groups and high school photos that were haphazardly stapled to the wall. There was a nicely sized bed shoved against the wall, taking up most of the room, with their bags set on it. Kyungsoo moved to rummage through his own things, retrieving an old t-shirt and some sleep shorts. Jongin moved to get his own change of clothes, only to pause as Kyungsoo began to pull his shirt up and their eyes met.

“…You don’t mind, do you?” he asked, his cheeks pink as he realized he was about to outright strip in front of his boyfriend without his consent.

“N-No,” Jongin cleared his throat, diverting his eyes to the clothes in his hands, “it’s okay.” His face felt like it was on fire as he thought about how smooth and soft the skin of Kyungsoo’s stomach had looked. He dared himself not to look as he heard the sound of Kyungsoo’s zipper. Jongin sneaked a peek, however, and the sight of Kyungsoo in only bright blue briefs had him quickly looking away, his face ten shades darker than before.

Trying to will the not-so-innocent thoughts away, Jongin focused on changing his clothes, unbuttoning his pants and shyly taking them off, along with his flannel shirt and t-shirt.  As he reached to grab his pajama pants (the cute ones with the little puppies printed all over the cotton fabric), Jongin jumped at the feeling of a hand touching the skin of his stomach. He turned to see Kyungsoo staring at his bellybutton and the piercing there. Goose bumps appeared on the flesh as his fingers moved to touch the metal and Jongin’s stomach quivered. He didn’t move to stop him.

Kyungsoo’s dark eyes flickered up to meet his own and their gazes locked silently as the shorter male’s hand moved up, brushing against Jongin’s ribs. Jongin’s heart sped up in his chest, and surely Kyungsoo could feel its strong beats beneath his fingertips. “H-Hyung,” he stuttered out, voice no more than a whisper.

Kyungsoo didn’t reply, simply sliding a hand up to cup Jongin’s neck and pull him down for a soft kiss. The younger man exhaled, hands resting on Kyungsoo’s small hips as the kiss deepened, fireworks going off in Jongin’s head. Kyungsoo’s lips seemed to be more eager, moving against Jongin’s with extended fervor. He wasn’t sure what to make of the situation—not that he really could with his brain slowly melting into mush. Kyungsoo’s kisses were sweeter than sugar and more addictive than anything he’d ever tasted.

Jongin surprised himself as a low and muffled moan escaped him as Kyungsoo’s tongue swiped across his bottom lip before snaking its way into his mouth. It was an entirely different sensation, twisting it into a completely new tune. He suddenly couldn’t get enough, tugging his boyfriend closer and unintentionally slotting their hips together. The friction of their skin had Kyungsoo letting out a hiccup of a gasp, fingers sliding down to catch on the smooth skin of Jongin’s shoulders. A shiver of delight stroked his form as Jongin ran his tongue gently over Kyungsoo’s teeth, his tongue piercing clinking against his incisors.

Oxygen deprived mouths parted, letting out quick breaths as they looked at each other in wonder and attraction. Jongin moved to kiss the skin just below Kyungsoo’s ear, unable to calm his racing heart and excited fingertips as he rubbed his thumb against the other man’s hipbone.

He felt Kyungsoo’s hand delve into his hair, smoothing it back and bringing Jongin’s head up to look him in the eyes once again. Kyungsoo leaned up to brush their noses together, whispering against Jongin’s lips. “Can I tell you another secret?”

“Yeah,”

“I wanna have sex with you so badly right now,” he said, looking up at Jongin with lustful eyes. “Do…you want to?”

Jongin’s voice caught in his throat, nervous at the thought of it being his first time and all. It wasn’t like he didn’t want to, but maybe Kyungsoo wouldn’t want to if he found out it was Jongin’s first time. Gathering the courage as his cheeks flamed in embarrassment, Jongin spoke up. “I-I-I w-want to, hyung, b-but I…I’m…I just…It’s my f-first…”

“Your first time?” Kyungsoo spoke for him with an assuring smile. “That’s alright. I don’t mind being your first. But are you sure? I don’t want to push you into something because you feel guilty.”

“N-No, I r-re…really want to,” Jongin offered a smile, looking into Kyungsoo’s eyes honestly. He knew his words weren’t very reliable, but in that moment the prospect of feeling his boyfriend’s body against his own was what he truly wanted. He pressed a small, soft kiss to Kyungsoo’s plush lips before whispering against them. “I’ll t-tell you if I w-want to stop, okay? S-Same for you too.”

“Okay,” Kyungsoo whispered through a sigh, sucking in a sharp breath as they initiated another kiss, hands roaming to places not previously reached. Kyungsoo’s fingers slid against Jongin’s skin that was slowly heating up from the feverish moment, catching in the dips and curves of his frame. As Jongin licked into his mouth, the smaller man moaned, a clumsy hand blindly reaching behind him to click off the lamp light, shadowing them in the darkness of night and the small strips of moonlight that seeped from the window above the bed.  He swept their things off of the mattress, bags slipping to the floor, as Kyungsoo broke the lip lock to lie back, dragging Jongin down with and on top of him, knees on either side of Kyungsoo’s thighs.

As the brunet slathered soft kisses and gentle nips on the column of his neck, Jongin let out hot breaths, the pressure quickly and embarrassingly building in his groin. “A-Ah, h-hyung, y-your parents might…!” He pressed his lips tightly together, tiny whimpers threatening to escape as a stray hand slid to rub the bulge in his underwear as a tongue traced the tattoo winding up his neck.  He swore he could feel Kyungsoo smirk against his skin.

“Don’t worry about that,” he mumbled in reply, sneaky fingers tracing up and around Jongin’s hip, curling around the band of his briefs, snapping it against his skin once for good measure. Kyungsoo then tugged it down the curve of his bottom. With tomato red cheeks, Jongin assisted him, tugging the last of his clothing all the way off and kicking them off of ankles.

“What a big boy,” Kyungsoo huskily slurred, tongue swiping over his upper lip.

Jongin let out a small squeal that hitched into a groan as Kyungsoo’s small fingers curled around his cock, watching as his hand retreated for a millisecond so that he could lick at his palm before placing it back on his erection, pumping him to full hardness. He could hardly focus as suddenly his boyfriend’s lips were by his ear and murmuring the dirtiest of phrases, tongue spilling sin. The fact that Kyungsoo could be so filthy made Jongin wonder how many times he’d had sex before.

It was definitely a twist he wasn’t expecting.

He could feel himself nearing the edge just as Kyungsoo pulled back to rummage underneath the mattress, his face brightening as he retrieved a small bottle of lubrication. “I can’t believe it was still there,” he grinned. Kyungsoo faced Jongin once more, kissing the pout off of his lips. “Do you want to be on top?”

Jongin nodded bashfully.

“Okay, it’ll probably be better for you that way,” Kyungsoo gave an encouraging smile. Dropping the bottle of lube onto the bed beside him, the older man tugged down his blue briefs, Jongin helping him with nervous hands, tossing them to the floor.

He tried not to stare at Kyungsoo’s bottom half, sneaking a small peek downward before flushing and meeting the other’s gaze. Kyungsoo only snorted at the shy, cute action. “You can touch if you want to. I’m not going to stop you.”

“W-W-What if…w-wrong…” Jongin mumbled as Kyungsoo’s hands ran up and down his sides, feeling the bumps of his ribs.

Kyungsoo leaned up to peck his lips. “You’re not gonna do anything wrong. I’m not gonna break, silly.” He moved to spread his legs, allowing Jongin to sit between them, completely exposing himself. “Here, I’ll help.” Reaching to grasp Jongin’s hand that was tightly gripping the sheets, Kyungsoo moved it to caress his cheek, Jongin’s palm feeling hot against his skin. He closed his eyes at the feeling as the blond moved to initiate another kiss, soft lips against soft lips. As Jongin grew brave, Kyungsoo felt his fingers stroke every inch of him, feeling length of his collarbone, flicking against his nipple, and dipping into his bellybutton before hesitantly wrapping his hand around Kyungsoo’s half-hard length.

Jongin felt Kyungsoo moan against his lips, bucking his hips into the hand stroking him. “Feels good,” he whimpered with swollen lips once their kiss broke. A smirk painted Jongin’s visage, an expression that actually matched his messy dyed hair, tattoos, and piercings. Kyungsoo didn’t think it suited him well, so he bumped Jongin’s hand out of the way to replace it with his own, grasping both of their cocks and rubbing them together, wiping that goddamned smirk right off of his lover’s face.

“H-Hyung…” Jongin groaned, hips stuttering with the need to thrust into Kyungsoo’s small hand. “I-I wanna…can we…”

Releasing his grip, Kyungsoo patted the mattress until his hand came in contact with the almost-forgotten bottle of lubrication. He pressed the plastic surface to Jongin’s chest. “Just put some on three of your fingers.

Blinking, Jongin sat back, popping open the cap and turning it with his other hand held out to spread some onto three of his fingers. He’d watched enough of his brother’s secret stash of gay porn to know what it was used for. Returning the bottle back to the bedside table, Jongin scissored his fingers to make sure it was evenly spread. Kyungsoo spread his legs further to accommodate him as Jongin reached down to trace his fingertips around the rim of his hole before slowly pressing a digit inside, noticing as Kyungsoo tensed up slightly, lips pouting cutely.

Jongin tried not to rush, but as one finger became two, and then three, Kyungsoo began to let out soft little whines and curses beneath that breath, biting his lip each time Jongin managed to prod at his prostate. Once Kyungsoo gasped out that he was ready, Jongin was quick to pull his fingers out.

“Let’s switch positions,” the older male suggested. The image of Kyungsoo riding him had him squeaking out a confirmation before sliding into Kyungsoo’s place to lie down, the spot warming him as Kyungsoo settled above him.

Kyungsoo picked up the lube one last time to drizzle some onto Jongin’s cock, spreading it with his hand for good measure. He threw the lube over his shoulder, the clattering, echoing sound of it hitting the hardwood floor causing them to tense and freeze for a moment. They were like two teenagers giving each other handjobs in the middle of the night, only older and doing something much more intimate. They snickered for a moment, teeth glinting in the dark as they exchanged grins.

The moment became serious as Kyungsoo resumed what he was doing. Splaying his hands onto Jongin’s chiseled stomach (most likely from dance, he figured), the male on top lifted his hips, positioning himself above Jongin’s cock before slowly lowering himself down. Jongin watched as Kyungsoo’s face immediately scrunched up but was quickly distracted from the sight as he caught feel of the wet heat squeezing him tightly. His back arched from the intense sensation, fisting the sheets as he tried his best not to move too severely, knowing that it would hurt his boyfriend if he wasn’t gentle in the slightest. Kyungsoo pulled up a bit before he fully sank down, letting out gasping breaths as he tried to adjust. It was a lot more painful to take it this way, but he knew being on top would be much more assuring for Jongin.

“G-Give me a second…” Kyungsoo breathed, looking down at Jongin with glistening eyes.

With a smile, the younger moved his hand to trace circles into Kyungsoo’s hips. It didn’t seem to help too much, but within time Kyungsoo was shifting slightly and the pained expression lifted from his features. “I’m gonna m-move now,” he warned, causing Jongin to move his hand like he was burned, only for Kyungsoo to chuckle and roll his eyes, placing the hand back on his hip. “You can touch me,  _baby_.”

The effect of that sweet pet name was quickly heightened as Kyungsoo began to move as promised, lifting his lips and lowering them in a mellow rhythm. The friction of their bodies had Jongin’s eyes rolling back, choking on his words and gripping the pillow beneath his head like he was going mad. He wasn’t sure what to focus on as the speed of Kyungsoo’s bouncing increased in tempo like he couldn’t get enough either. The wet noises were soon drowned out by muffled moans and hot, quick exhales.

Kyungsoo gazed down at Jongin heatedly. The way that Jongin’s stomach tensed and clenched as he tried his best to contain his eager hips, the sweat gathering on his skin, and how his plump, pouty lips parted as he sucked in quick breaths had Kyungsoo moving his hips at a faster tempo.

Jongin made the quick decision to sit up, nearly causing Kyungsoo to fall over. The latter let out a sharp gasp as the blond began to piston his hips up as Kyungsoo came down, effectively finding his sweet spot. “Sh-Shit, Jongin,  _ah_ ,” he gasped, looping his arms around Jongin’s neck for leverage. His hips had tired out, and he allowed Jongin to control the pace.

“L-Let me,” Jongin panted, stopping to connect their lips in a wet kiss full of fleeting breaths and tongue. His arms winded around Kyungsoo’s frame, a strong emotion like a tidal wave crashing through his heart as he pulled him close. It wasn’t just sex. It was their way of connecting and communicating their love in a different way, a way easier and much more meaningful than words.

“Love you,” Kyungsoo whispered out, pressing a kiss to Jongin’s chin.

“Love you too,” Jongin replied steadily, returning the favor with a kiss to his boyfriend’s chubby cheek.

Neither of them wanted to waste a moment more, beginning to move together, only gentler—with more emotions. The pleasure only multiplied, Kyungsoo hiccupping against Jongin’s shoulder as his cock rubbed against the other male’s stomach, the cool metal adorning his bellybutton causing amazing friction. He was too gone to care about dirtying Jongin’s belly as he mindlessly grinded himself against the pliant surface.

Jongin couldn’t last much longer, and he reached the edge as Kyungsoo slid a hand down to tease his nipple. With a stuttered gasp, he came inside of his lover causing Kyungsoo to react and spill between their stomachs.

Kyungsoo slumped against the tattooed male; the both of them breathing like they’d ran a marathon. “Fuck, Jongin, how were you a virgin?” he murmured.

“I-I didn’t lie,” Jongin looked at him with wide, unbelieving eyes.

“Well,” Kyungsoo pulled off of Jongin with a grimace and a slick noise, collapsing onto the bed beside him as Jongin lied down, “we’ll be doing that more often then.”

The younger man yanked the sheets out from over them to cover them both; grabbing his used t-shirt from the floor to wipe the semen off of them both lazily. “W-We can shower in the morning, I guess,” he said, moving to cuddle his relaxed and barely awake boyfriend, laying his head on Kyungsoo’s chest.

“Mmm,” Kyungsoo hummed in agreement, running a hand through Jongin’s disheveled hair. “I’m too tired to talk anymore. Goodnight, Jongin.”

“Night, Kyungsoo-hyung,”

 

“Good job! L-Looks like we’ll be ready in time for the recital! Make sure to tell your parents that this Saturday is our first recital! Bon week-end!”

“Bon week-end, Mr. Jongin!” came a chorus of cheers from the fourteen tiny ballerinas. Their tutus bounced cutely as they made their way out of the studio door and into their proud parents’ arms. Jongin smiled at the sight. It always made him more than overjoyed to see his students happy to describe to their family of their accomplishments in class, how he complimented a certain aspect of their form, or “Mr. Jongin got a new cool tattoo”.

A certain boy heading towards the door had Jongin pausing. “Ah, T-Taeyong can you come here for a moment?”

The boy, only the age of six, turned with a sulk, approaching his teacher with his ballet shoes in hand. “Yes, Mr. Jongin?” he mumbled.

His teacher kneeled down to his height with a frown on his lips. “You looked really distracted today, buddy, wh-what’s bothering you?” He asked, watching as Taeyong fiddled with the hemline of his tights, obviously distressed as he had been the whole class period.

It took a moment for the brown-haired boy to answer. “I’m gonna s-start school soon, Mr. Jongin. A-And M-Mommy said I have to make friends. I can’t be quiet like I am in here. I’m scared. No one will like me.”

With a smile, Jongin reached to brush Taeyong’s fringe out of his eyes. “Everyone here likes you. I like you. What’s not to like? Maybe you’ll meet a friend who’s just as quiet as you are.” His encouraging statement seemed to make its mark as Taeyong’s eyes lit up in excitement.

“You really think so?”

“I  _know_  so. Now you go make some friends on Monday and tell me about them next practice, alright?” Jongin grinned, holding out a fist for Taeyong to bump with his smaller hand.

“Okay, Mr. Jongin!” Taeyong exclaimed with a wave as he headed out the door, meeting his mother into the hallway. The dance instructor gave a bow to the older woman as she took her son by the hand and walked off.

Releasing a yawn he hadn’t realized was even present, Jongin moved to gather up his things, not bothering to change out of his tights before grabbing his duffel bag and turned off the stereo. He did, however, take a moment to sit down and untie his ballet shoes, replacing them with his sneakers. He then made sure everything was in the right order as he plucked his keys off of the table, heading out of the mirrored room, closing the door and locking it behind him. With a pep in his step and a smile on his lips, Jongin headed down the hallway, the classes for teens still going on as music blasted from each of the rooms. He gave a wave to his fellow co-workers and to the receptionist, Hyorin, as he headed out of the dance studio.

A blast of cold air hit him as he met the cold spring night, hurrying over to the car parked by the curb. Opening the passenger door, Jongin practically jumped in, rubbing his bare arms that were littered with goosebumps.

“I told you to change before you come out. I can wait a couple more minutes you know,” Kyungsoo sighed as Jongin buckled his seatbelt. The younger male offered an apologetic smile before leaning over to peck his boyfriend’s lips.

“Sorry, I’m just tired. My class’s recital is this Saturday so we’re kicking it into overdrive. Y-You’re gonna come, right?” he asked as Kyungsoo shifted the car into drive, pulling out of the parking lot.

“Of course, I’m coming,” Kyungsoo grinned. “It’s your first recital as a teacher. Plus, Hyoyeon’s performing with her class, so Seungsoo’s going too.”

“The wedding’s soon, right?”

“Just three more weeks and then I don’t have to see Seungsoo for a good month or so,” Kyungsoo sighed, slumping in his seat as they stopped at a red light. “He wants me to go to his Bachelor Party and I’m honestly scared of what’s gonna be there.”

“Strippers,” they both said in unison.

“…So when’s our wedding?” Jongin grinned, expecting the slap on his hand which quickly came.

“We’ve only been dating for ten months!” Kyungsoo exclaimed.

“S-So if I got down on one knee today, you’d say no?”

“Well, not necessarily…” the brunet sent him a wary look. “…You aren’t being serious, are you?”

“Do you think I have the money for a ring?”

“Thought so,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it is 2 am and i am t IRED. that's why the second half of this isn't proofread i'll fix some mistakes later. there's probably tense shift in this lmao.   
> i'm so sorry for the wait!! i had a lot of homework and projects due just after i posted the first half of this. also this somehow turned out to be almost 8k???? didnt know i had it in me. also the ending is p much word vomit i didnt know how to end it. i hope u noticed how jongin's stutter slowly went awayaround kyungsoo until he only stuttered when he got a little nervous in suggesting something :> that's how it is for me so i applied it to him too.  
> hope you enjoyed!  
> give kudos and comment


	3. extra

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO I REMEMBERED IVE HAD THIS THING IN MY FILES FOR A YEAR AND IT'S BEEN A YEAR SINCE I FIRST PUBLISHED THIS SO HERE U GO
> 
> this is between chp 1 & 2

It was only one month into their relationship when Kyungsoo really saw the extent of Jongin’s stress from his anxiety. Of course, he always knew that living with such a thing had to be a heavy burden, but other than when they initially met, Kyungsoo had never seen Jongin actually crack under pressure. He didn’t know much about Jongin’s family. Kyungsoo knew that Jongin didn’t like his parents a lot because they weren’t as understanding, but he never knew just how much they broke Jongin’s heart.

Just as he always was on Saturday nights, the raven-haired man was lounging on his couch, watching another anime that Junmyeon had suggested to him. It wasn’t too great, all hardcore dramatic fight scenes, but Kyungsoo could see why it appealed to his friend. Too wrapped up in the clanging of the swords from the T.V., he didn’t hear his phone go off the first time. But it rang once more when Kyungsoo got up to use the restroom, and he managed to catch it from his bedroom.

Jongin’s name flashed on the screen, and Kyungsoo was surprised. Jongin never called him before and had expressed his dislike of phone calls. Even electronically, the idea of sudden conversations scared him. Kyungsoo was fine with that, so it was a little strange that his boyfriend was  _calling_  him this late.

Picking it up and accepting the call, he answered. “Hello?”

“Hy…hy-h-hyung!” There was uncontrollable sobbing coming from the other line, Jongin’s voice barely distinguishable through his hiccups.

Kyungsoo was immediately worried. “Jongin, Jongin, shh. What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

Jongin cried harder, unable to speak for a while due to his hyperventilating. “I-I-I...s-s…P-P-P-Par…k!”

“Park?” Kyungsoo picked out. “Jongin, are you at the park?”

“U-U-Uh-huh…” he hiccupped, his sniffles cracking the line a bit. “I-I-I-I-I’m s-s…orry-y.”

“Shh, it’s okay,” Kyungsoo hushed him in a soothing tone, already by the door and hurriedly putting his shoes on. “I’ll be there in a second, Jongin, okay? Can you tell me where you are?”

“S-S-S-Sta-ta-ta-tue…” he managed to choke out in a raspy tone, his fluttering breaths brushing against the speaker. It wasn’t hard to deduce that Jongin was by the statue in the center of the park by Kyungsoo’s apartment. At least he was close; Kyungsoo was thankful for that.

“Are you okay, Jongin? Do you just need me?” the older man asked, throwing open his apartment door and hurrying out into the night. He couldn’t tell if Jongin was hurt physically or emotionally.

“J-J-J-Just…y-you-u…”

“Okay, Jongin, I’m going to hang up. I’m leaving right now. I’ll be there as fast as I can, I promise,” he was reluctant to hang up, but it was hard to run with his cellphone in his hand as it was. There was a muffled “uh-huh” from Jongin before Kyungsoo hung up and dashed down the streets as fast as he could.

Kyungsoo wished he could get there faster. He was scared that something had happened to Jongin. The only time he’d seen Jongin like this was when they met on the ferris wheel, but even that didn’t seem as bad as this. He had learned that Jongin was extremely sensitive, so he didn’t want Jongin to feel any worse than he already did with Kyungsoo not showing up quick enough.

He received a few weird looks due to his attire (old pajamas and ratty converses), but Kyungsoo made it to the park without any problems. Luckily, the park wasn’t too big and it wasn’t long before he heard uncontrollable sobbing and hurried to see Jongin standing under the street lamp that illuminated the big bronze statue behind him. He, too, was in his pajamas, only in a black wife beater that showcased all of his tattoos and grey sweatpants with holes in a few places, rivaling the pitiful sight of him crouched and rubbing his eyes with his fists like a child as he cried.

“Jongin,” Kyungsoo called out softly, catching the blond’s attention.

Jongin looked up at him with red and puffy eyes and a tear-stained visage. His lips trembling and face contorting as he stood up before another heart-wrenching sob escaped his throat. Kyungsoo didn’t hesitate before moving closer to take Jongin into his arms. The tattooed male instantly hugged his boyfriend tightly, crying into Kyungsoo’s shoulder.

“Shh, it’s okay, Jongin, it’s okay,” Kyungsoo ran his hand up and down Jongin’s back while his other hand petted the back of Jongin’s head, running his fingers through his bleached hair. He could feel Jongin’s hands gripping the fabric on his back and the tears that were dripping onto his shirt. The older male felt tears prick at his eyes from the sheer sound of Jongin’s sobbing, but he held them back.

“H-Hy-Hy-ung,” he cried, “h-h-hate…i-it.”

“You hate it?” Kyungsoo questioned, watching as Jongin pulled away. Instantly, his hands darted up to Jongin’s tear-stained face, thumbs wiping away the endless streaks down his cheeks. The blond wiped his runny nose with the back of his hand, letting out a tiny whimper as he nodded.

“Jongin, did something happen at home?” he reached up to brush Jongin’s bangs away from his eyes, letting him take his time to answer. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

“N-N-N-No, I…” Jongin gasped, trying to control his breathing that was still hitched and quick. Kyungsoo moved to intertwine his hands with Jongin’s, rubbing his thumbs over the other’s inked knuckles and knowing how it soothed him. “M-My p-parents…th-they d-do…d-don’t s-sup-pport us…” he swallowed heavily, eyes watering again. Kyungsoo briefly wondered how many tears Jongin had left to shed. “I-I-I t-told them and they…th-they…” his voice cracked, expression twisting, “D-D-Dad was g-g-gonna ki-kick me out, b-b-but J-J-Jongdae…st-stopped him. I-I-I’m s-sorry…”

Kyungsoo’s heart broke at the statement. To not be accepted by Jongin’s parents was a terrible feeling, but he knew it was even worse in Jongin’s mind. Jongin was brave enough to tell his parents of his sexuality and boyfriend, and he was shut out—his worst nightmare. Kyungsoo wrapped his arms around Jongin’s torso and hugged him close again. “It’s not your fault, Jongin. You can’t help how your parents feel.”

“B-But…I-I sh-should have…I-I could o-of said s-something…”

“It’s alright that you didn’t,” Kyungsoo murmured soothingly. “But it was so brave of you to tell your family, Jongin. It takes a lot of courage to do that, you know?” He pressed a kiss to the tattoo on Jongin’s neck. “I’m happy that you did that for us and for you.”

The younger man sniffled. “R-Really?”

“Mhm,” Kyungsoo pulled away with a soft smile, “when I told my parents I was so scared. It took me years to finally muster up the courage.”

“I-It was r-really…really s-scary,” Jongin admitted, and Kyungsoo could see a spark of a smile twitch at his pierced lip. “I-I-I st-stuttered so much. It was h-hard for them t-t-to understand m-me at first…”

“Did you feel good after saying it?” the older man asked.

Jongin nodded, running a hand through wispy blond hair to get the bangs out of his face. “J-Jongdae said he supports m-me, so I-I’ll be okay,” he admited quietly, his breath hitching only every once or so. “I’m sorry for c-calling y-you so late, h-hyung.”

“It’s fine, Jongin, really,” Kyungsoo flashed him a grin, sliding his hands down to hold Jongin’s gingerly. “I’m your boyfriend. I’m supposed to be there when you need me.”

The younger man blushed, averting his eyes for a second before quickly bending down to press a kiss to Kyungsoo’s lips nervously. Just a chaste peck, no more than a millisecond long, but it made Kyungsoo feel warm down to the tips of his sneakers. Jongin hugged him again afterwards, probably much too embarrassed to look at him, and his sheepishness made Kyungsoo smile.

“Do you wanna stay at my place for the night? You can sleep on the couch,” Kyungsoo offered politely, not sure if Jongin wanted to back to his house after running away teary-eyed.

“D-Do you m-mind? I-I just—I don’t…” Jongin whined as the words he wanted wouldn’t come out plainly.

“It’s fine with me. I need someone to watch shitty anime with anyways,” Kyungsoo mused, pulling back until only one of his hands held Jongin’s and beginning to lead them out of the park. “I’ll drive you back home in the morning.”

“O-Okay,”

**Author's Note:**

> i got lazy with the endingggg but there will be a part 2 (with smut maybe we'll see). there really needs to be more fics with social anxiety tbh :/ originally i had jongin stuttering a lot more but i felt like it was distracting.  
> comment and give kudos!


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